The Hours of Night by The Confused Man #6

The Hours of Night

by

The Confused Man #6

So what is it that makes you so confused, asked the pediatrician.  I can't seem to find the bathroom when I need it and when I yell for mommy, the neighbor comes outside and turns the water hose on me.  That's not very nice is it?   "Well", said the doctor, "sounds like you deserved it".  I think I should start looking for another pediatrian now that I am 60 years old.  It's not that I am too old for him, it is that he is too young for me.  Just to show you how young he is, he crawled into the exam room when I had my appointment and got out his box of crayons and his nurse gave him a picture of her in her bathing suit  for him to color.  In my chart.  Can you believe it.  I've never seen those pictures before.  Why wasn't I told about this?  I looked for myself and there was also a picture of me in my birthday suit, yes, that's right, in my BIRTHDAY suit.  And it wasn't an appropriate picture for a medical chart either.  The longer I looked at the chart the more pictures I found.  He couldn't even stay in the lines.  There was also one of my wife.  It was much more fitting, it was a picture of her delivering our first child to the hospital.   They wouldn't let us have the baby in the hospital because our baby doctor was just that, a baby doctor.  But we had to bring it to the hospital because they didn't think it was our baby.  That's a laugh, with all the pain I went through just to get her in and out of our fishpond and onto the dining room table to deliver our son. You would think that would be enough. 

I have not had much luck with my doctors.  I shouldn't say that exactly.  I am lucky to be alive after 50 some years of having him as my doctor but I've had my share of bad luck too.  Luck is a funny thing.

By the way, I am making up all the dialogue that the doctor is saying because it sounds better than; baba, gemme, dada look I made a stinky. 

Now back to the blog at hand.  If you remember my last award winning prose when I was telling you about my inappropriate sitting and the resultant sickening sight into my magic mirror.  OK lets establish the fact that it was you and you alone who caused my untimely sitting by you purposely deflecting my attention away from the mirror and to that picture you showed me of those two people wrestling.  I couldn't even tell if they were really wrestling or just acting, like those professional wrestlers on TV. 

I think it would be prestigous of you to come back again tomorrow.   Maybe then we would have time to sort out the good from the bad and if we wanted to we would go back to bed, I mean I would go back to bed.  I am in need of some rest.  I fear that my confusion is getting worse.  Bye for now.

To those of you who are really trying to understand me, thank you.